G'day,
Good news! My permanent residency has been granted. Finally I have some rights and I don't have to fear to get deported right away if I speak my mind. Today's topic: sex and the stupidity of politicians and the reason why they are first up against the wall comes the revolution.
But first my permanent residency arrived yesterday:
I know it doesn't do to complain but one little side note: the visa was granted some four weeks ago and even though my lawyer sent a letter to the department of immigration that he was on vacation between end of Februar and early April and requested that all mail would be sent directly to me, the clever guys from department of immigration sent the visa to him...well, that's bureaucracy...
Ok back to the main topic, it's just coincidence that the next two pictures are so close to each other, well I guess everybody knows that guy who managed to throw back Australia from a decent county in the mid 90ies back into the 50ies. I won't waste any words on him, he's history...
I will never forget the night when he lost not only the elections but also his own electoral district and for a little while Australians thought things will get better with a labor government and in some areas it did but there are other areas where the idiots are just plain stupid.
Exhibit A: Senator the Hon Stephen Conroy, Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy who devised a plan to make Australia the first western democracy to apply bigtime censorship (a la North Korea, Iran, China). I have already posted a blog entry on this in March 2009. It seems now that the plan to increase "Measures to improve safety of the internet for families" (official title) will go online in June/Juli 2010. This genial plan will obligate Australian internet service providers (ISP) to implement a blacklist of sites which are marked "RC" (refused classification) such as child (and "normal") pornography, euthanasia, computer games rated higher than MA15+, racism (haha) and other "undesirable content" such as online gambling, conspiracy theories and everything else that strikes the Australian Communications and Media Authorities (ACMA) fancy.
The first question is why to do such a thing and the answer is easy: to protect the children.
"To protect the children" seems to be a convenient reason for censorship everywhere. I remember last year back in Germany it was that moron Ursula von der Leyden (CDU) who proposed an internet censorship plan "to protect the children". I guess the dumb-nuts use this reason as it makes you anti-child-protection if you argue against it, which is not so dumb after all.
But honestly, can we protect the children by censoring realities, isn't that just pretending something doesn't exist? Well, I don't mean one should expose a five year old to a gang bang movie but if a 13 year old explores the smuttier side of the web wouldn't it be more desirable if there would be a parent explaining that this view of sexuality is a little out of touch with reality and made to meet the fantasies of grown-ups who happen to like that kind of stuff, nothing to worry about, right?
But the degenerate decendents of the most uptight and prude country ever (England) wouldn't talk about sexuality with a child if their life would depend on it. So apparently it's easier to apply censorship laws to protect the children. In recently related news:
Exhibit B: Julie Gale, Melbourne mother of two, founder of Kids Free 2b calls for a ban of softcore magazines such as Playboy, Penthouse and others from newsagents as they are "bad for children" (
link here). Well, once I stopped laughing and realised that this Helen Lovejoy is serious and the 30 so-called "child experts" really believe that Playboys displayed at a newsagent are bad for children I was dumbfounded. I mean, with a playboy on display at the shop you can only see the title page and if you are lucky you can see a naked breast. Oh, doom to civilisation if children see a breast. We should probably blindfold babies when they are breastfed, eh Ms Gale? I bet your children would probably die of shock if they see you naked. Well you can pass you sick uptight ways to your children but please don't take away the pleasure of having a glance at the cover of a Playboy for 14 year old boys, you dumb nut!
Now the highlight of today's blog entry:
Exhibit C: Senator Barnaby Joyce, Shadow Minster for Regional Development, Infrastructure and Water (National Party, Queensland) AND
Exhibit D: Senator Guy Barnett (Liberal Party, Tasmania)
This formidable Laurel and Hardy team of Australia's anti-sexuality league put forward the best campaign ever: they are outlawing A-cup breasts! Yes, you read right, to quote Senator Joyce: "publications featuring small-breasted women are encouraging paedophilia."
The result of this campaign is already visible in the decisions being made by the Australian Classification Board, which is applying RC categories to publications featuring small breasted women, as opposed to the previous X-rating. According to Fiona Patten, Convenor of the Australian Sex Party (btw, the ASP is also on the internet blacklist): "We are starting to see depictions of women in their late 20s being banned because they have an A cup size. It may be an unintended consequence of the Senator’s actions but they are largely responsible for the sharp increase in breast size in Australian adult magazines of late."
Well, my female friends with A-cups, it's time to get your boobs blown up to a decent size if you like to pursue a carrier in adult entertainment in Australia. Ah and my dear friends who happen to be in a relationship with a girl with A-cups: "You fuckin' peadophils, I always thought you were decent guys but thanks to Senator Barnaby Hardy and Senator Guy Laurel I know now that you are disgusting and just you wait until Julie Gale gets her hands on you!"
And to my German readers, just don't start to snigger and think "ha ha stupid Australians" as since Nov 2008 some German dumb nut politicians have introduced § 184c into the German penal law which criminalizes sales and distribution of content depicting "adult actors who show a youthful appearance". Hustler Europe has filed a complaint with the federal constitutional court as it's banned them from selling the "Barely legal" magazines in Germany. I was not able to find if that law has been changed and if the law suit went through. It would be nice if one of you lawyer guys back home have a look in "Dreher/Troendle" for me on how the legal situation is now.
Well, apart from the idiotic unspecific term "who show a youthful appearance" (who shall judge that??) how crazy is it to allow fat granny porn but ban cute youthful looking babes? If that doesn't prove the point that politicians should be shot on sight, what does?
So judging from all that crazy shit laws it'll soon be outlawed for parents to look at their babies private parts while changing nappies. Or tell their toddler "Sorry I can't wash you down there, do it yourself".
Ok, back to dumb nut Exhibit A, Conroy, the funny thing about the whole proposal is, that IT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK. Well, let me clarify, it works if you are too stupid to look up wikipedia's entry on internet censorship (
here) . In there (under point 2. Circumvention) the keen reader finds seven nice and legal ways to circumnavigate any ISP based black list. You don't need to be a computer crack or hacker to download a VPN client or similar. This leads to the next question: is Steven Conroy stupid?
I can't honestly answer this but even if he is he will probably employ one or two people who are not complete idiots and who have pointed out the simplicity of circumnavigating the black list. So if that is known, why should you go on with this plan?
One suspicion keeps creeping up from the back of my mind, control of the media. If the government can control the internet and has the power to filter "undesirable content" it very strongly reminds me of Germany in the mid to end thirties of the last century. The majority of the people will not undertake a great effort to circumvent the filters so from June/Juli this year the Australian government holds the key to censor the net as they please. Such a powerful position makes me a bit uneasy.
But as an optimist and a strong believer that it's all for the good of the children I wave a last good-bye to my favorite A-cup actresses and forget that euthanasia has ever existed. I believe that the good politicians of Australia will handle the task to protect the children of this country in a responsible way for the good of us all.
That's all for today and now I'm going to watch some good clean porn with big tittied women...
Have a great day, have fun, don't look at small boobies and stay clean (or Julie Gale will get you...)
Addendum:Last night I when I went to bed I thought up a working solution for the child protection thing. All the plans mentioned in the blog entry are just doctoring with the symptoms of child porn not with the cause. It's not A-cup women who encourage paedophilia it's the children themselves. It's their own fault if they cause thoughts of paedophilia. So we should just remove the cause from society and take the children into protective custody. I propose we vacate Southern Australia (well, this state went down the drain anyway), build a fence and deport all underage children there. Problem solved. No adult will molest them and the main cause for paedophilia is removed. Julie Gale will be pleased, a whole state for children to be children, no softcore pornography there and no chance of seeing a naked breast...just fun and games...and us adults can just go on with our life undisturbed by all those little lolitas...
The band that started it all. The inventors of heavy metal, Tony Iommi, Bill Ward, Ozzy Osborne and Geezer Butler (to quote my friend Pudgey: "Every fucking bassist should be called Geezer!"). This album is a milestone, a must in every record collection.
Motörhead's Ace of Spades, some might call it hard rock but I call it brilliant heavy metal. If you don't know this album, you haven't lived a decent life, period.
White Zombie, La Sexorcisto. Well, that's Metal with Groove! Rob Zombie may not be the best director in the world but he sure put a great band together. This record is like the Misfits with balls!
Ok, true enough, Metallica has sold out. They have become mainstream and from "...and justice for all" on they have become pop. A drum-kit on wheals, James Hetfield getting sober and taking vocal lessons...argh. But on the other hand "Master of Puppets" is one f the best metal albums of all time. Honestly "Ride the lightning" is as good but I only just like Masters a little better.
"Seasons in the abyss". Compared to Metallica this is a different cup of tea alltogether. Slayer have never sold out and never will. I saw them live the first time in 1992 and they just blew me away. This is the true spirit of heavy metal, the one and only constant. The one band you can instantly recognise withing the first 10 seconds of any song. Fuck, Slayer rules!
Who had thought that Brazilians could play heavy metal before Sepultura? Well, they can and Sepultura is pure aggression. If I'm pissed off at something, I just listen to a bit of "Arise" and it gets better. This album is also connected with one of the more interesting stories in rock n roll history. The guy who mixed this album is called Andy Wallace and in summer 1991 a young quite unknown Seattle grunge band called Nirwana listened to "Arise" and decide that they want the guy who mixed that album to mix their next record "Nevermind". The rest is history. Btw, Andy Wallace mixed/produced four of my top ten metal albums...
Tool "Undertow". Ok, you can't really classify Tool anyway so I might as well sort it into the heavy metal/hard rock drawer. This is definitively their best album, later they have become a little too eclectic. I still remember fondly when I saw them on the Undertow tour in 1994 in a little auditorium at university of Enschede. 3 hours live and they played "No quarter" by Led Zeppelin. It was freaking awesome.
The first Iron Maiden album with Bruce Dickinson. One of the best bands ever and undoubtedly their masterpiece. Songs like "Run to the hills", "Hallowed be thy name" and "Number of the beast" are anthems and this album is a modern classic, a must for any record collection.
Again I'm not sure if this is properly classified as heavy metal but who gives a flying fuck anyway? It's an awesome album, groovy but hard and very very angry. I am still silently giggling when I remember my former flatmate Stippel "dancing" to "Killing in the name" in Sputnik...
Last but not least Ministry's "The mind is a terrible thing to taste". Pure aggression, "Thieves" was banned from the play list in the club I used to go when I was young as people tended to bash their heads in while dancing to this song. Btw this album is extremely good to listen to on the iPod while being at the dentist, the sounds of a dentist drill merge right into the music as if intended to be their by nature. Apart from that it's just a killer album.
