And a special welcome to my loyal disciples, Hi Emily, Josara, Julia, Cord, Daniel, Andrew, Scott, Bill and Jan. I live in constant fear that I forget to mention one of you one of these days...
My hunting success yesterday inspired me to hunt today for the most feared of the "Big five", the turtle. The most shy inhabitant of my parents garden pond could be dangerous when it´s cornered. I could spy it sitting on a rock at one corner of the pond and so I moved with extreme care, always checking for the wind direction. It took me five minutes for five meter and then I was hidden behind a tree and could very carefully approach the unexpecting turtle until I could grab it by the shell. Boy, that turtle was surprised...hehe
In order to determine the species I took a quick pic from the turtle belly and then I sat it on the table and examined if it was healthy...
It looked at me with deep suspicion, probably thinking I would play Coldplay to it but I only torture frogs. Turtles are more of the quiet persuation so they have nothing to fear from me. Very carefully I removed the dead pieces of it´s shell and checked the eyes, claws, mouth according to the turtle health sites in the internets. After some time the turtle got bolder and stuck it´s head out of it´s shell...
Well, when I finished the turtle health check I sat it back on the rock I took it from and compared the pictures with the different turtle sites in the web. And what we have here is a yellow-bellied slider (Trachemys scripta scripta) which comes originally from the south east of the USA and even though all the forum explain that they need clear water and a certain diet and temperature it seems to survive quite well in the pond...National news: today the German High Court decided on an interesting case. A German website for schoolkids features amongst other things the possibility for the kids to rate their teachers. The site has administrators who monitor the ratings and abuse, insults and similar gets deleted by admin. And -of course- a teacher took the website to court. She claimed that the rating (she got really bad marks, lol) would violate her personality and privacy rights. The makers of the site claimed freedom of speech. It was a good day for German jurisdiction as the teacher lost. Read full story here (in english). But even though she lost and it was the highest court she will probably still continue sueing as there could still be the possibility to file a case with the Constitutional Court and the typical German teacher doesn´t stop before he/she has exhausted all legal possibilities.
As an explanation, in my experience certain personlaity types are drawn to certain jobs. Don´t get me wrong, I´m aware that you can´t say all teachers, politicians, lawyers, policemen or doctors are the same but there are clearly tendencies. For example, you will not find too many freethinkers who have a problem with authorities in the police force but you´ll find, well let´s say a certain type of personality in above avarage numbers in the force...
The stereotypic German teacher is a small-minded, dogmatic, self-opinionated asshole. It´s impossible to have a discussion with those people, the thought that other people´s opinions could be valid wouldn´t occur to them. Those guys are ready and willing to take a simple matter like an apple tree loosing it´s leaves on their lawn up to the highest court. Every German lawyer begins his day with the lawyer´s prayer which goes along this lines: "Dear God, thank you very much for creating teachers. Please send a wind that some apple tree leaves fall on the lawn of a teacher...." During my practical part of the law studies I could witness teachers in court rooms and it was hillarious. I once worked as a prosecutor and had to appear for the state against a guy who had allegedly slit the tires of a car during a neighbourhood party. In the hearing we found out that there was no witness at all and the only reason why this poor guy was charged was due to the teacher who lived next door and he was sure that it could only have been that guy. I dropped the charges and the judge who was really pissed off by then told the teacher and I quote "If I see you again with such ridiculous accusations in my court room I´ll charge you with wasting the time of the court and I´m serious".
If a teacher moves in the house next door, best advice get yourself a legal expenses insurance, you´ll need it sooner or later...
In other news, I´m fed up with the fuckers from the welfare office. It´s eight weeks now that I have applied for the dole and they still havn´t decided. After four weeks they sent me some more forms to fill in, which was ridicolous enough already and then I asked them several times if that´s all now or if they still need anything. And yesterday (eight weeks after the original application) they sent me a letter saying that they still need a written confirmation that I´m not entitled to get money (so called ALG1) from the labour department. Well, you are only entiltled to get ALG1, if you have worked at least twelve month in the last two years in Germany. And as far as I recall I was in Australia and that was also the first thing I told the idiots. I even gave them a copy of my passport showing my date of entry to Australia and my date of exit. But they still insist on the written confirmation. So I went to the labour department today and found myself, as expected- in a catch 22.
Following conversation is a summary, original was ten minutes...
Me: "I need a written confirmation that I don´t get ALG1 from you guys, as I´m not entitled as I was in Australia the last two and a half years"
Girl at entrance desk (G.a.e.d.): "Well as you are not entitled to ALG1 we are not responsible for you. Please go to the welfare department"
Me: "Been there, done that, they want the confirmation"
G.a.e.d. : "But we can´t give you a confirmation as we are not the right department for you"
Me: "I know, could you at least give me the last statement in writing as that should sum it up"
G.a.e.d. (looking paniked): "No I can´t give you anything in writing"
Me: "Could you please have a look at my data?"
G.a.e.d. : (looking at monitor): "Funny, it´s the same database the welfare department uses and it is written here that you are not entitled to ALG1 as you´ve been in Australia. Why do they want a confirmation from us?"
Me (even though I had certain suspicions) : "I don´t know but you see I´m waiting for eight weeks now for my money and so could I please see someone who could give me the certificate, pretty please with sugar on the top?"
Eventually she agreed and I was sitting at the desk of a guy who told me: "Well, why does the welfare officer need this confirmation as she has access to the same data I have and it´s all there." My careful hint that she might got the job due to a let´s-give-retarded-people-a-job-program met his sense of humor and he gave me the cerificate but refused to add "as you could have looked up yourself stupid bitch". Well you can´t win them all....
In the end I felt that my Dalai Lama like patience is slowly coming to an end so I went to see my friend and brother in spirit Dirk with whom I shared a desk at LexisNexis for five years in his function as a lawyer and gave him power of attorney. Dirk told me that what the welfare office does to me is common practice arond here and that he will sort that out for me.
Dirk, friend, brother, lawyerWell, that´s it for today, have fun, take care, don´t get sick and cya
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